tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5805517514331147214.post1201108445337314108..comments2023-03-24T09:26:01.344-05:00Comments on Redheaded Tomes: Barren is dead wordKristi Ostlerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08073529078605648826noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5805517514331147214.post-13298448948950553152009-11-20T14:33:20.676-06:002009-11-20T14:33:20.676-06:00In spite of the seriousness of this topic, Luke...In spite of the seriousness of this topic, Luke's last comment cracked me up. "trying" not to get pregnant is a term I hadn't thought of before.Kimberlyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13058006742190151482noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5805517514331147214.post-76610115872925176662009-11-20T00:00:33.640-06:002009-11-20T00:00:33.640-06:00I remember just a glimpse of that feeling when Tif...I remember just a glimpse of that feeling when Tiffany and I were trying to get pregnant for a while and then TWO of my sisters who were trying NOT to get pregnant did!lukehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04844724534003766952noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5805517514331147214.post-6095468179983297022009-11-19T15:32:56.331-06:002009-11-19T15:32:56.331-06:00Thank you Kelsy. I think of all of you guys often...Thank you Kelsy. I think of all of you guys often. I thought I was Little Miss Strong until this past week. A friend of mine found out she is pregnant, under less than optimal circumstances. She is happy about it, but it brought up a whirlwind of emotions: anger, hurt, disgust, but more than anything, just sorrow. I I cried for a few days, all day long. It felt like God was saying, "see this? You'll never have it. Even though you followed the rules. Instead, I'm going to give this 'blessing' to someone who was careless and broke all the rules." I told a coworker that I felt like I was grieving a death, and she noted that the card she bought me was in the "sympathy" section. <br /><br />I'll be fine. It's just going to be a process of acceptance. I'm realize the emotions will come and go, but I'll survive.Kristi Ostlerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08073529078605648826noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5805517514331147214.post-50541594464314150812009-11-19T13:27:43.062-06:002009-11-19T13:27:43.062-06:00I just wanted to let you know that I miss you and ...I just wanted to let you know that I miss you and I think of you often. I can't imagine what you are going through and I hope that you find peace in everything that is going on. If you need someone to just sit with you and say nothing, I'm there...or if you need someone to cry with you...I'm there too. I guess I'm just trying to say, I'm here if you need me. Love you and praying for you.Kelsyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15408559622643431468noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5805517514331147214.post-46474645994551694002009-11-11T15:20:24.297-06:002009-11-11T15:20:24.297-06:00Actually, my gyno has known my feelings in the pas...Actually, my gyno has known my feelings in the past and has always been sensitive to them. She was sparing on one of my surgeries, in case I did have a child. She wanted to remove much more tissue, but knew it would keep me from keeping a pregnancy. So while I think a lot of doctors take it lightly, she has been watching my "girl stuff" deteriorate for over 6 years.<br /><br />I'm accepting this whole ordeal. It's just not what I had planned. Actually, nothing is as I had it planned. I think I held onto hope that at least this portion of my life would pan out to my dreams. But I'm realizing that I can poop in one hand and wish in another, and see which one gets full faster. (Phrase compliments of my granny.) :-)Kristi Ostlerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08073529078605648826noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5805517514331147214.post-16325651011624247282009-11-11T14:25:20.287-06:002009-11-11T14:25:20.287-06:00Isn't it sad that our doctors have completely ...Isn't it sad that our doctors have completely lost touch with what it would mean to lose our reproductive organs? They say well, "we'll just do a hysterectomy to fix this little problem" as if they're telling you that you need a cavity filled. <br /><br />I couldn't help but think, while I was reading this, what if this is what is SUPPOSED to happen before you have a "healthy relationship"? What if, after the loss and grief, you don't have that to identify with anymore, so you are able to shed some of your self-loathing (for lack of a better word). <br /><br />Regardless, it doesn't change the grief, or the inevitable feelings of failure that come with losing the organ we are "supposed" to use for the purpose of reproducing. It still hurts. But accepting it is the very first step. <br /><br />Hang in there, woman. Love you.Kimberlyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13058006742190151482noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5805517514331147214.post-65397944597021390602009-11-11T00:28:18.353-06:002009-11-11T00:28:18.353-06:00You came to my mind as I read this quote from Thom...You came to my mind as I read this quote from Thomas Merton. I don't know why and don't know if it means anything at all, but here it is ...<br /><br />"In all the situations of life the 'will of God' comes to us not merely as an external dictate of impersonal law but above all as an interior invitation of personal love. Too often the conventional conception of 'God's will' as a sphinx-like and arbitrary force bearing down upon is with implacable hostility, leads men to lose faith in a God they cannot find it possible to love. Such a view of the divine will drives human weakness to despair and one wonders if it is not, itself, often the expression of a despair too intolerable to be admitted to conscious consideration. These arbitrary 'dictates' of a domineering and insensible Father are more often seeds of hatred than of love. If that is our concept of the will of God, we cannot possibly seek the obscure and intimate mystery of the encounter that takes place in contemplation. We will desire only to fly as far as possible from Him and hide from His Face forever. So much depends on our idea of God! Yet no idea of Him, however pure and perfect, is adequate to express Him as He really is. Our idea of God tells us more about ourselves than about Him."<br /><br />He gets a little preachy after that and I don't think you're in the mood for preaching. But you're not alone in this. I'll go with you however you want to go.lukehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04844724534003766952noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5805517514331147214.post-90906067192737462422009-11-10T21:37:40.533-06:002009-11-10T21:37:40.533-06:00Thanks guys. I've known this was coming event...Thanks guys. I've known this was coming eventually, but always prayed it would be AFTER I had married and had a child. I was thinking of being a kid today, and how I used to pretend I was pregnant, stuffing towels under my shirt and waddling across the bedroom. As girls, we are always told that motherhood is the pinnacle of life. It's a strange place to be in for me. I know I could wait until it was an emergency, in hopes of a chance at children. But the reality is, I've been hoping for 7-1/2 years. I'm alone in this. I don't have a husband to share my grief with. It's just me, and I'm spent. I'm tired of wanting things I cannot have. so I'm going to have the surgery early next year. I will have vacation time then.Kristi Ostlerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08073529078605648826noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5805517514331147214.post-49689836999561374292009-11-10T18:51:57.257-06:002009-11-10T18:51:57.257-06:00I love you and can NOT imagine what you are going ...I love you and can NOT imagine what you are going through. As I sit and read, I can hear your pain. I am praying for you--for peace, wisdom, and understanding and so much more. I'm here for you. You are an amazing woman--I am so blessed to call you friend.<br /><br />JenAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5805517514331147214.post-74414095651128878882009-11-10T16:37:28.683-06:002009-11-10T16:37:28.683-06:00I'm floored and don't know anything I can ...I'm floored and don't know anything I can say. But I want you to at least know I read this and my heart twists inside me. Of course I'll pray for you; and not some sappy everything-will-be-okay prayer - I'm going to give God a piece of my mind. I'm sure he'll clobber me but sometimes you just have to clench your fists and thrash it out.lukehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04844724534003766952noreply@blogger.com