Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Phoenix Tattoo

A Phoenix is a mythical bird with a fire spirit. It lives every 500 to 1000 years, then ignites and burns to ashes. From the ashes, the phoenix is then reborn.

Several years back, I read the story of the mythological Phoenix. I identified with the necessity of the Phoenix to reinvent itself in order to continue in this world. At that time, I remember thinking that would be an awesome tattoo--something very personal and rather rare. Then I looked online and found out that it is really a very popular tattoo. Ha! But it didn't stop me from wanting one. I considered size, location, and design for years. But a tattoo is permanent.

After last year's health issues, I finally decided to do it. I got the tattoo. Events in life have left me at many a crossroads, where I could choose to continue with the status quo, or I could follow a new path. I have usually chosen the new path, and each time, that has led me to a new realization of self and desire. Each has forced me to redefine myself in order to continue. And so, I identify with this mythological creature. I'm not the person I was 4 years ago, much less the person I was 20 years ago.

Life is full of change, triumphs, defeats, and a million other emotions. But I intend to see it through to the end. No matter how many times I must be reborn. There was a time I wasn't willing to do that--I wanted to either die or just exist until someone plucked me from my personal hell. But not anymore. I will survive, if I have to do it alone, then so be it.