Tuesday, April 28, 2009


I am quitting. I have quit many times before, only to allow myself to cave in to the addiction, the camaraderie, the breaks. But the longer I smoke, the more I smoke.

I don’t consider myself a smoker. I just always knew I would quit one day, since I've done it in the past. But quitting has become harder and harder. As I smoke more, I find myself getting ill more often, battling bronchitis a few times a year and coughing year round. My clothes and car stink. If I smoke in my house---which has only happened a few times---I feel guilty for giving my dogs second hand smoke.

I have developed a slight cough, and when I laugh I can’t breathe. I can’t talk or sing for long without taking a breath. A coworker coughs so hard on a regular basis that I fully expect to see a black lung land on her desk one day as she coughs it up. Splat! I am surrounded by smokers at work.

My niece was making a coughing noise the other day, and my sister asked, “Are you choking?” “No mama, I cough like Kristi.” Tina started laughing, and I did to. But the seriousness of the comment wasn’t lost on me. It made me ashamed.

I have tried over and over to quit. My coworkers have made it hard to quit, by talking me into smoking with them. But I’m easily swayed. This weekend I went to San Antonio and couldn’t smoke the whole trip. So it got me through the first 3 days of non-smoking.

Now I’m on day 5. So far, so good.


luke said...

that's cool! good luck on the endeavor.

so are you going to replace it with any other habit? going cold turkey or using a patch or gum or anything?

Kristi said...

I don't believe in patches or gum. I am going cold turkey. Day 6! But I know that I'm a pig, and I will eat more. I have a ton of fruit at my desk that I'm eating during the day. You never break a habit, you replace it with a new one.

Jeff said...

Good for you. I know you can do it! I have always believed in you.

Phyllis Renée said...

I don't consider myself a smoker either, Kristi (I only smoke at home. Outside.). And I'm going on vacation in a couple of weeks and staying at a smoke-free resort. OMG!! For an entire week!

Good luck!!

Kristi said...

Ah, kindred smokers - - I mean spirits! Well, I'm on day 7. And it's been my best day so far. I love not worrying about coughing, my clothes or hair stinking, etc. My trip forced me to do it

Day 1: I was strong, but became depressed. I became very tired (smoking is a stimulant).

Day 2: I wanted to sell anything for a quick drag behind a tree. I mean ANYTHING. I was so tired and hated all who smoked whimsically.

Day 3: Relatives who normally don't get on my nerves were driving me batty. i wanted to kill all in my path--after a drag, anyway.

Day 4: Renewal. i felt good. i felt strong. I prayed no one at work tried to pursuade me.

Day 5: I felt empowered to be smoke free.

And each day it's gotten easier. Except after that cake last night.

so, you can do it!!!!!!!