New Hope

When I was young, I was going to conquer the world.  I was going to prove something--to myself, to my family, to the world.  Then life happened.  And I continued, but held onto those dreams.  I was meant for great things.  I was going to do something BIG one day.  But slowly, life took twists and turns, and waiting for this or that opportunity to arise became lost in the day to day grind of survival, finding myself, and growing.  And as I entered my mid thirties, my dreams had completely changed.  I was no longer expecting to be great--I just wanted to survive.  My expectations lowered, my joy was drowned.

I now realize that doing great things or being a great person can happen, small moment by small moment.  I will not be President.  I will not change the world.  But I can change my own world.  I can change the world for others through my own willingness to help, to love, to be the person I was made to be.  That is as great as any wealthy, powerful person.

I am now seeing how many of my hardships have built my character.  They have prepared me for this moment.  They have calmed me, solidified my values, and led me to my current path.

I am not rich.  I am not going to make the "most beautiful" list.  I am not going to bare a child.  I may never win the lottery.  But I do have a new hope.  But a different hope from my youth.  A hope for the future that involves stability, companionship, and love.  I am able to use the gifts and the experience of my past to be the person I need to be at this moment in time, for those people around me who mean the most to me.

I am blessed.