Thursday, June 25, 2009

Getting Healthy . . . . . .Slowly

Dieting is a bitch. Food is my biggest addiction. I have no will power when it comes to sweets. Reunions, holidays, house warming parties, etc. They are all kicking my fat, white butt. Cake and sweets are everywhere. I’m a very picky eater-- I don’t like most veggies. So finding a good balance is hard. The Southbeach diet ruled out fruit for 2 weeks. I really love fruit, since I don’t get enough veggies. I did great on that until I came into contact with cake. (mmmm, cake.) Yeah, I was totally derailed after that. The Zone diet has “blocks” that overwhelm me. Weight Watchers has points, but I tend to use my points on crap and skip the healthy stuff. Jenny Craig has food I don’t like. I have an excuse for all of it, and it boils down to me not being able to say no to sweets and breads. So I’ve decided to do something different—I’m cutting out the starches and lowering the carbs, and eating more greens, more protein, more fruit. It’s a change to a healthier diet, without measuring or counting anything, and without expecting to lose chunks of fat per week..

Also, I have to change my focus. I will never arrive at a certain size and be able to maintain it unless I’m FOREVER on a restricted diet. I will never be the high metabolism person who can eat her cake and ice cream without paying a price. So I will not one day be able to eat anything I want. I will forever have to keep my weight in check.

My family struggles with my desire to change my diet. They get testy when I say, “I can’t eat that” or “Can I have that without the bread?” and “Can we make some green beans instead of chips?”. At work, our chef has started her “summer, figure friendly” meals, which is basically a sandwich and chips. Umm, that’s not healthy at all. So I find myself with a drawer full of green bean cans at work now, along with a can opener. I have my own salad dressing that I keep with me. I now take vitamins (a probiotic, a digestive enzyme, cod liver oil, and B-12) to help me poop, help me digest, give me energy, and help my heart and inflammation. I am lugging this bag of paraphernalia with me—vitamins, food, and exercise gear (and sometimes skates)—and it gets frustrating at times.

I am still going to the gym, and skating on Wednesdays. I have 4 more sessions with my trainer and I’m finished. I still have my gym membership, and I have a lot of info and exercises to keep me busy. I am stronger now, and I can feel it. I’m always sore somewhere on my body.

But I have to learn to say NO to the potatoes and corn and bread and cake and ice cream and French fries and brownies. . . . . .. ..

God, give me strength!!!


luke said...

I think recognizing that it's a permanent change is the most important. So there's never a "someday" after which you can eat anything and everything and be okay.

Some of the habits I've been able to make permanent:

Fruits in the morning, veggies in the evening.

Lots of egg whites - I usually make eggs with a 3:1 egg-white:full-egg ratio.

Lots of water helps to feel full without having to eat.

Stuff like that.

Naida Lee said...

so true... i love cake.
i'm right there with ya! one thing you might do is vow to eat healthy but not rediculous and then one meal a week.. maybe like, sunday lunch or something. eat what you want! but only at that meal. that way it's 1 "bad" meal out of about 21 good meals in a week.

Kimberly said...

I'm really really proud of you. Once you realize that it's an eating way of life, and it becomes habit - you won't want the sweets. I promise - once you kick it - you don't crave much. And you are's a s l o w process!!

It's also very difficult when you are around your family alot, and they don't support you. You need support. I have noticed that you LOOK healthier. Your skin has a glow to it, and I had a feeling you had found a balance.

Josh said...

I'm in the same boat Kristi! Eating is one of my favorite things and I need to take back control. I did Weight Watchers a few years ago and got into some good habits, and then got back out :(