I'm taking a breather from cleaning. I've downsized my crap into managable and findable places. I've visited Goodwill enough I should be on a first name basis with the collections men. I've been a thorn in the side of my trash men, as they have picked up countless bags from my curb in the last few weeks. I've downsized my pets as well, leaving me with Sidney and the house is so much more peaceful. I'm making room for a family.
It's all in preparation for an exciting new time in my life. I am preparing this old house to be a home for the first time in 9 years. I'm throwing away pieces of the past to make room for the future. I'm more hopeful than I've been in a very long time.
I have been caught off guard by a man and his daughter. I didn't think I could find anyone like this. I didn't think I could fall in love with a man AND his child. I didn't think I could be this comfortable with a man, this at peace with a relationship. And it reminds me that there is a God who has my best interests at heart. They make me laugh, they make me proud, and they make me thankful. They both fill a desire I've had my whole life. I am not so naive as to think I will be the child's mother--she has one that loves her dearly. But it is a chance to be a positive influence and to take on a motherly role with a willing child, and to support an amazing man as he goes through the ups and downs of raising a daughter. It is a chance to love a man with all of this experience and devotion that I've been building all these years. It's a chance to be the woman my parents taught me to be. It's also a chance for me to allow a man to love me and to accept me.
The move has already begun. My house has already begun evolving into what it was meant to be when I purchased it 9 years ago--OUR home.
And so, the transition continues. This time next week, I will be sharing this home permanently with 2 amazing people, a dog, a cat, a hamster, and dozens of stuffed animals. I will be fulfilling the role I always longed for.
My dad always said that God is never early and never late: He's always right on time.