I like being older. Never thought I would say that, much less write it for the world to see!
Creed has a song with the following lyrics, "I'm rusted and weathered, barely holding together." That's me a lot of the time. Just clinging to sanity. Rusty and worn and weathered and eroded by hard times. I see young people and I admit I envy their energy, their expectations, the simplicity of their problems. If I had to live life again, I would have been a freer spirit in my youth.
However, I value my ability to perservere. I couldn't handle the problems at 21 that I have today at 36. Each struggle has made me stronger. Each heartache has toughened me, molded me, shaped my views. And God has shown himself faithful to me. It's hard to have faith, when you've never really needed it. As a youth, you always know a family member will bail you out and take care of you. As an adult, you find that God practices tough love, and that sucks!
So, I realized this evening that I take pride in knowing I'm older. I'm taken more seriously. My opinion counts. My experiences matter. I am more confident now than ever before, because I have proven my abilities to myself. I've been my biggest doubter.
The onset of gray hair was hard for me. I noticed it 2 years ago. It literally made me nervous and depressed to think that my hair was going to match my age. You see, I'm still 21 in my spirit. My body is 36, but my core is not even close. I understand more the phrase, "You are as old as you feel." Physically, I feel 32. Inside, I'm 21 and a size 8.
So, I'm thankful for the wisdom and strength and stability that comes with age. Now excuse me while I dye my hair.
4 comments:
inside i am like, 17 and a size 0. haha. i guess i'm dead and rotten inside b/c i've never been a size 0!
Kristi... i have eye wrinkles already!!
Simmer down, now! Those aren't real wrinkles. Trust me, you will know when the real wrinkles set in. However, this is a perfect time for you to being using wrinkle cream!!!!!! Before they really start!
good suggestion!! haha
I went and read Phyllis's post of the Agora videos...it's like you said the responses are interesting!
I know that when I try to explain Agora to "churched" people I usually get either a defensive response or a play to make Agora seem inefficient or wrong or cult-like. But, I've learned that I don't really care as much what the churched people think.
:) And inside I think that I'm 21/22 (lol) and a size 4!
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