At the beginning of this year, I decided that this was MY year to get outside my box. Alas, I was doing so well. And then I fell for a guy that I shouldn't have. It ended so abruptly, yet left me with more questions than answers. And so I have spent the last few weeks reflecting on that, and more importantly, on me.
This weekend I had a hair appointment, and my stylist is my age, and we are a lot alike. Not only did she give me some great insight into myself and what I deserve and should expect, but she also reminded me who I am and where I was mentally before dating the jerk. I left her little salon empowered. I bought new clothes, went out with friends to a few straight bars, and was hit on by random strangers, and was given the evil eye by a black woman because her man was checking me out. (Cracked me up! She needed to give HIM the evil eye, because I was not interested in her man.)
So, after a good weekend and some thinking, I went ahead and booked a cruise. I'm going to the Western Carribean in late August--right around my birthday. I will be gone for a week, basking in the sun, drinking until I'm stupid, dancing, and letting loose. I can't wait. I'm going with some cousins on my mom's side, and they are a partying bunch. This should be interesting. :-)
I sat down with my brother in law and we began discussing guns. I've never shot one. But I'm a woman who lives alone in a fairly questionable area. I want one to keep in my house.....just in case. John has several guns and is going to take me and some friends to the range to let me get a feel for different types that he has--glocks, cigs, revolvers, etc. He's going to show us the basics. I'm excited to do this. I have a feeling I'm going to love it. My hair stylist told me it's fun and empowering. My goal is to purchase a gun this summer.
I'm going to make an effort to go to different bars. I have been a faithful friend to my gays, and I'm wearing thin on the gay club scene. I doubt my best friends will be willing to expand their own horizons to join me, but it's something I have to do for myself.
I'm done with online dating. I've decided that the men online are either gross or predators. I don't have to peruse dating websites for a hook up. I can get one at my local QT, apparently. (Anyone who knows me knows I don't hook up with strangers, FYI--to many diseases and a complete lack of self respect.) I've also realized that any man who is on one site is likely on 3 others, so he may not be perusing the one he met you on, but he's likely perusing others as you are dating. Predatorial. That's all I have to say about that.
So, I'm feeling good. Mercury is coming out of retrograde at the end of this week. I have a cruise to look forward to, the last of my weight to lose, and some bar hopping and gun toting on the horizon.
Now I just need the motivation to do some spring cleaning. Ugh!